Heroes

In case you haven't heard, NBC has seen fit to release the first season of its runaway hit Heroes on DVD. The late summer release, will of course, give viewers just enough time to get through the dvds before the second season premieres in October. I've yet to see an episode of the show, although I hear from a number of people I trust that it's very well done.

Moving further down the dial, I have seen several episodes of Sci-Fi Channel's reality train wreck, Who Wants to Be A Superhero?, and while it is without question one of the stupidest things to ever see the light of day, for some reason I keep watching it. This is the brainchild of Spider-Man creator and all around Marvel Comics god Stan Lee, who has apparently run out of ideas of his own and has turned to the great unwashed masses to provide them for him. A coast to coast "talent" search brings out a group of hopefuls who vie to become one of Lee's comic book creations. Pictured above is Hygena, whose superpower is that...she likes everything to be really clean. When I say that one of the other contenders, Mr. Mitzvah, begged off of one of the challenges due to a pulled hamstring, you'll understand what sort of high octane television we're dealing with here.

What does this have to do with living in Hollywood? While the winner of Stan Lee's competition gets to star in both their own comic book and a purported Sci-Fi Channel original movie, other heroes have to scrape together a more hardscrabble existence. Last night on Hollywood Blvd, across from the Chinese Theatre, I saw Spider-Man, and well, he's looked better. He was waiting for the light to change, pulling an overloaded black suitcase on wheels behind him. His Spider costume was dirty and faded, fastened at the back by a safety pin, and he seemed to have high red socks pulled on over his shoes instead of the requisite boots. Spidey is one of many "heroes" who hang out and pose for pictures with tourists on the block between Highland and Orange. Whether they hope to be discovered or just make a quick buck off of gullible visitors, the overall effect is pretty depressing. There's another guy in a Chewbacca suit who's been busted TWICE by the LAPD in recent months for decidedly unheroic activities. I mean if you're going to get busted by the cops, do it with style, which brings me, last but not least, to my new favorite superhero, Naked Leopard Man:

I believe I also was fortunate enough to see Naked Leopard Man's spiritual twin as I walked into the Virgin Megastore at Hollywood and Highland. Standing right outside the store was a shirtless man, wearing a leopard print loincloth and matching leopard print sandals. Sadly he skulked off into the night before he could be photographed, but I have no doubt that if Naked Leopard Man should ever need a sidekick, Shirtless Leopard Loincloth Man will provide.