Urban Juror #9

Walking up Gower to our apartment last night, I spotted this, and one other hand lettered sign posted up outside the Hollywood First Presbyterian Church. Carlos Street, which one side of th church faces, was barricaded off and guarded by a cop, and I saw some familiar looking grip trucks and other equipment which led me to believe that some sort of filming was in progress. This led me to believe that these signs advertising "Juror Parking" were probably props. Unless, of course, they were filming a sequel to the late 90's Alec Baldwin/Demi Moore vehicle "The Juror", and these were signs telling the crew where to park. Either way, it reminded me that I neglected to give an account here of my recent jury duty experience. I got summoned to report in early February, and after yukking it up at the pictures of celebrity jurors Lance Ito (see below), Harrison Ford and Weird Al Yankovic, I soon found myself sitting on the panel of a distinctly unfunny gang murder trial. Since I don't have the space to go into all the details here, I'l just give it to you by the numbers:

Total number of Jury days served: 17 (not counting President's Day, when the court was closed)

The going rate in LA for Jury Service: $15/day
Length of daily lunch recess: 90 minutes
Number of counts in this particular indictment: 3 (Murder, Attempted Murder, firing at an occupied motor vehicle)
Number of counts on which we found the defendant guilty: 3
Number of Days Juror number 3 called in sick: 2
Number of Days the Defense Attorney called in sick: 1
Books I read commuting downtown and on breaks during the trial: 4 (see below)
Number of times I walked to the Library Bar for a pint after court let out: 3
Number of times the security guard at the courthouse metal detector complimented my shoes: 1
After I finally got back to work, I was told that the best way to get out of jury service is to simply throw the summons away when you get it. Since they don't mail them certified mail, they can't say for sure if you got it or not. Now they tell me.

Recommended Reading (All Available at the Downtown LA Central Library:)

Under the Net-Iris Murdoch

Little Green Men-Christopher Buckley

Boomsday-Christopher Buckley

The Dog of the South-Charles Portis

Mix and Mux

Several years ago I made a movie called "Mix Tape." It was a comedy about a group of guys who obsessively make mixtapes for the women in their lives. This is a production still from the shoot. Occasionally, because I made this movie, people want to talk to me about mixtape related stuff. It hasn't happened in a while, probably because the movie and its subject matter are soo last century. But last night I spoke to someone from Vox Magazine in Columbia, Missouri about mixtapes in general, and more importantly, about muxtape.com, which is a new site which attempts to bring the concept of the mixtape into the digital age. Naturally, I'm all for this, so I went to the site and cooked one up. I hope all four of you readers out there enjoy it:

www.jeffersonian.muxtape.com

Since this is supposed to be a blog about living in Hollywood, I also dutifully report that yesterday I saw Jonah Hill, star of Superbad, in front of Canter's Deli on Fairfax.

Who's Johnny? A Cautionary Tale

It recently came to my attention that the 1986 Steve Guttenberg/Ali Sheedy vehicle Short Circuit is being remade. Will Mr. Guttenberg or Ms. Sheedy participate? Will the adorable all too human seeming robot known as #5 get a 21st century makeover? Will Fisher Stevens return as a wacky Indian scientist (dots, not feathers)? All of this remains unclear. For more info on the remake, see the post from Defamer:

http://defamer.com/376416/god-sheds-a-tear-shoots-self-at-news-of-short-circuit-remake

Never one to sit on hot news when it comes my way, I forwarded this link to a few in my inner circle. The response was overwhelming, and opened my eyes to the damage that the seemingly innocuous comedy left in its wake. For the full story, I will temporarily hand over the reins to this blog to jeremy a. and ryan luc (excerpted with both gentlemen's kind permission):

Although it is often overlooked, the original Short Circuit is responsible for a certain pop/r&b crime as well: the theme song "Who's Johnny." Now most of you know that I am among the few (and possibly the proudest) Debarge/El Debarge apologists in the world. "Rhythm of the Night" (which was by Debarge, not El Debarge) deserved to break into the top ten, but some of their earlier modern soul efforts remain unjustly overlooked (though not by 90s rap stars, Notorious B.I.G. sampled "Stay with me". Now it's possible that Eldra "El" Debarge would have broken away from his siblings and embarked on a solo career without the theme to Short Circuit among his credits, but if he had not been persuaded to lend his sugary tenor to "Who's Johnny," thereby launching it into the pop stratosphere (or at least the top 20), then he may have returned to the bosom of his family in short order.But this was not to be. So what? How could this possibly compare to the utterly unbearable cinematic disaster that was Short Circuit, and don't make me bring up Short Circuit 2? Well, riddle me this. If El doesn't have a solo hit on that first record, he never has a solo hit. If he never has a solo hit, maybe Bobby Debarge doesn't die of AIDS in prison in 1995 and maybe none of us have to suffer with the rap career of Chico Debarge. Bunny Debarge, meanwhile, would have been well-served to have never left the group in the first place, as her 1986 record "In Love" is an abject abomination, valuable only for the ridiculous attire in which she elected to be photographed.After El and Bunny left the band, Motown kicked the other three brothers to the curb, leaving them despondent. Shorn of their principal talents, they recruited older brother Bobby into the band and cobbled together an ill-conceived record in 1988 in which they tried to cash in on their recently gained all dude status by titling it "BAD BOYS." Really, it just should have been called bad. Desperate now, two of these bad boys turned to the only economy still going in and around Grand Rapids: the crack trade. Bobby, the second-oldest brother (who founded the mid-70s r&b/funk group "Switch" with oldest brother Tommy whose first two albums are worth hearing, if not owning outright; Bobby also joined the three remaining brothers from Debarge on the 1988 tragedy), and Chico Debarge, the youngest (who, like Bunny, also released a solo record in the late 80s with comical art direction; unlike Bunny, he still has a music career; and unlike any of his siblings, the only Debarge not to be a member of Debarge in any incarnation and to be referred to by a nickname that is not a derivation of his given name, Jonathan Arthur Debarge), started dealing in devil rocks. Convicted with two accomplices of federal drug conspiracy charges in 1989 and sentenced to serve five year sentences. It is unknown whether Bobby contracted HIV from sharing needles, unprotected sex with women out of prison, or unprotected sex with men in prison, but, in the incomparable words of VIBE magazine: "After riding the heroin horse since his teens, Bobby died from complications of AIDS on August 16, 1995 at the age of 39." And for his death, SHORT CIRCUIT is to blame.So but for Short Circuit, we might still be seeing mentions of Debarge in TV episode summaries, such as the following:"After learning that Punky did not do her book report, Henry cancels Punky's plans to see her favorite singing group DeBarge in concert, a move that Punky vows to never forgive Henry for -- until Henry gets DeBarge to come to the apartment and tell Punky how important reading is."DAMN YOU SHORT CIRCUIT, DAMN YOU! NOBODY CARES WHO JOHNNY IS!!!

Ryan Luc responded to Jeremy's post with the following:

Who is Johnny? Who's holding Donna now? I hope that family finds someanswers.DeBarge's record label history is quite telling. After their earlyMotown years, the dark, late-80s, post-first-greatest-hits-compilationperiod was ushered in by "Bad Boys" (1987) on the Striped Horselabel--clearly a reference to the heavy drugs that would be theirimminent undoing. However, 1990's "Back on Track" appeared on thegospel label Truth Ministries, also home to artists such asAdoration-n-Prayze, so that gives you some idea of the company theDeBarges were keeping in that period. Clearly, this was a family in need of redemption.If a "Short Circuit" remake were to be followed by a remake of--orsequel to--"Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon," perhaps the curse would belifted. I think a letter-writing campaign is in order; send your pleas to harveyw@weinsteinco.com. Try to word your request strongly, but avoid using unnecessary profanity.

For more from Ryan Luc:

lobotcostume.blogspot.com

Sex and Death 102

So when we last left off, I was heading off to a screening of the new comedy "Sex and Death 101", written and directed by Daniel Waters. I had no idea what the interest level for this film would be, but I guessed that it would be slim. Probably a few "Heathers" fans and then the inevitable few who'll turn out for anything with the word "sex" in the title. I was wrong. When I arrived at the theatre (about an hour early, as it turned out) the screening was already sold out. When showtime finally arrived, a woman from Anchor Bay entertainment, the film's distributor, introduced Daniel Waters, the man of the hour. "You people obviously don't read reviews", was his first remark as he looked out on the crowded theatre. He said a little bit more about how the film had been slammed for its shifts in tone, but he felt that fans of his work would have no trouble with it. The film unspooled, and although the movie's not perfect, it was certainly an above average comedy with an original premise and sharp writing. After the film, Waters was interviewed briefly by screenwriter Josh Olson, who praised the movie, and called it "the Apocalypse Now of Adult Sex Farces". Waters took a few questions, jokingly invited the entire theatre back to his house for a party, and then it was time to clear the house for the next screening.

Fast forward a couple of days to Sunday evening, and I'm watching the Ebert and Roeper show with my wife, as we're wont to do, and wouldn't you know, one of the films on the show this week is "Sex and Death 101." Since Roger Ebert is still unable to speak due to complications from cancer in his salivary gland, this week's guest reviewer was Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune. After some initial discussion of the movie, where Roeper recommended it and Phillips did not, things got nasty. Phillips congratulated Roeper on being "Sex and Death"'s one defender. Roeper responded that he was sure there would be others, then Phillips responded with "not even Daniels Waters would defend this film." Not only is this an arrogant and pretentious statement on Phillips' part, but I can personally state that it's patently untrue. Every critic has the right to his or her opinion, of course, but this was a cheap shot, and if I may say, one that Roger Ebert never would have taken.

Sex and Death 101

Tonight I'm off to see the new movie from "Heathers" writer Daniel Waters, "Sex and Death 101". I go to see this because the script for "Heathers" really blew my adolescent mind when it came out 20 years ago, and because Mr. Waters himself is supposed to be doing a Q & A after the film. Of course, "Heathers" was a long time ago, and the underrated script for Tim Burton's 1992 "Batman Returns" notwithstanding, his output over the past two decades has been...let's call it subpar. When you've got "Heathers" and "Batman Returns" on one hand, and "Hudson Hawk", "Demoliton Man" and "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane" on the other, it seems to fair to ask whether this writer may be past his prime. Great pate, but I've gotta motor if I'm gonna make it in time for that screening...

The Not-Exactly-Long-Awaited Return!

So 2007 has given over to 2008, and here it is April 4th before I've gotten around to posting anything new. In my defense, I did get married and go on a week long honeymoon trip down in the Delta shortly after my last post way back in September 2007. Here's proof. But the Hollywood beast never sleeps, and there's a lot to catch up on, both in the biz and around the neighborhood. More to come...